Dear man in the red truck...

No, not you. The other guy in the beat up red pickup at Go-Mart this afternoon. Wait, you're probably too drunk to know I'm talking to you.

Anyhow, I'm just gonna throw this out there. Please don't pump gas at the same pump as me with your cigarette dangling precariously from your lips. Because you are drunk. You can barely stand up, so how do you expect to control your open flame?

Woman riding in the truck with said man: Please insist on driving. Please? No? Hrm.

Well, sorry I had to call the cops. Actually, I'm not all that sorry. I hope you went to jail.

Please don't smoke and pump.
Please don't drink and drive.
Please don't smoke and drink and pump and drive. I imagine it increases the odds that you will kill someone exponentially.

In short, please don't be AN ASSHOLE.

That is all.